The first step in healthy communication is listening, not speaking. We are not good listeners by nature. Even when we are speaking the same language, we often misunderstand what is being said 40% of the time. That is why active listening is such a huge part of ensuring we have "heard" correctly. Responding to what we thought someone was saying before we verify what they are trying t communicate, can be a constant source of conflict. Active listening is literally repeating to the communicating party what we heard them say. It is most often awkward at first because we don't often speak like this but is quickly recognized as a must-have tool as we use it. It is simply "if I heard you correctly" or, "I think I heard you say" then allowing the other party to verify if correct or help correct what they were saying.