✨ Magical Mindset Podcast: Set for Success

[00:00:00] Introduction and Guest Introduction

Macarena: There's so much to talk about when it comes to setting yourself up for success that I've got a great friend of mine with me, Krysta Maravilla. She's also a coach and we're going to have this discussion. And we're going to put a little structure to it.

We're going to discuss mindset, strategy, tactics, implementation, and sharing.

Intro: Welcome to Magical Mindset with Macarena Luz Bianchi, where we explore the magic of mindset, gratitude, and purposeful living. I'm your host Macarena, and I'm thrilled to have you join me on this journey of wonder, wellness, and wisdom. You can find the episode show notes, your free Magical Mindset Blueprint, and more at xpres.me/podcast, and here's the show.

Macarena: Krysta Maravilla. Author and coach is here with me, and we're going to discuss Set for Success when it comes to really living it and implementing into your life

Krysta: hi, I'm Krysta Maravilla. I am an author of fantasy novels as well as a mentor and coach with a background in mental health for many years. I am also a very big globe trotter, so I wander the world, if you will.

[00:01:23] Understanding the Mindset for Success

Macarena: When I think about the mindset of Set for Success, I mean that in itself, is a mindset. And when this came up in my private practice, it had to do with reminding people, Hey, with every action, with every project, with every setup, really, you have the choice to set everyone up to win versus not, right? And then with that, reminding people that everybody includes you, because some people are really good at this when it comes to other people, but not with themselves. And we're using the term success instead of win, because sadly, when a lot of people think of win, they think someone has to lose, but that is not what we're talking about here.

We're really talking about a success that's abundant and available for everyone. And I know you naturally think like this too. So I'm really looking forward to this conversation. So when it comes to the mindset that is necessary to set up yourself and everyone else to succeed, what comes to mind for you?

Krysta: Believing. I think that a lot of us do all of the steps, but on the internal side, we lack confidence that our actual project will launch. Our dream will actually become a reality or we're scared of the success or the failure, whatever it might be. And so there's that little crack in our belief that it could happen, that we can make it happen.

And it's easier to believe in other people. That other people are helping us do it right as we can shift off or delegate off responsibilities, but believing it can happen to the tenacity level that people might think that we're slightly delusional. And I use we in this broad sense. I think anyone who's a solopreneur or an entrepreneur , anyone that really has a dream and they're moving towards that dream.

That's included in this "we". Because. It all boils, in my opinion, down to mindset. If you believe it's going to be hard, if your mind says that it's going to be hard, then all of a sudden you're walking up Mount Everest on a task that is really challenging. When, if you likewise believe that the task isn't as challenging, it's just, you might be able to walk through that with a completely different landscape.

Not easy. Different landscape.

Thank you so much for bringing this up. Of course, what comes before setting everyone up to succeed, you have to believe that success is possible. But not only possible, that you and your focus would actually help it out. And at the beginning many years ago, when I first started working with this, I don't know, 20 years ago or something like that.

Macarena: It was in the team settings. It was in a corporate setting and I had to remind certain team members that were very creative as part of a team to set themselves up for success. But while they're doing that, they can actually help everybody else in the process. And it was very useful information, but it was so different than what they were used to.

[00:04:31] Applying Mindset to Everyday Life

Macarena: So, to the current, I think what's great about this idea of setting yourself up for success, it applies to everything. It applies in families, in managing your family. It applies in managing. Like for example, right now it's the holidays and I've got extra children in my home and grownup children. So what does that mean? How do we set up ourselves for success? We make sure we had extra food in the fridge because every morning, I don't know. I just do not know if I'm going to wake up to the two teenagers or young adults I'm expecting or them and their entourage. So, to set ourselves up for success, we decided, okay, we've got to have extra food in the house because what happens, I know my husband loves to make breakfast for everyone, whether or not they want it.

So anyway, that's just an example of how to apply this to your family. But when it comes to mindset, back to mindset, I'll give you the example from my family, it's Oh, our routines are being upside down. So, the mindset I needed was flexibility here. I knew that I had to have a very flexible and loose approach to whatever was in my to do list and on my appointments because things are changing constantly for many reasons.

So today I thought I had several meetings. Two of them worked themselves out and got canceled. So it opened things up for me.

[00:06:02] The Importance of Flexibility and Self-Care

Macarena: So, by adopting this mindset of flexibility and saying, Oh, things are different. And okay, what do I need to think about, to make my life easier so I can navigate through this? For example, last night, hanging out and having a party, in my living room till three in the morning.

I'm not going to be doing that. It's other people that are going to be doing it. So what do I need? Earplugs, for example. There's a tactic for you. Earplugs that I make sure I had so I can navigate this and not resent anyone in the morning for being where they are in their stage of life.

Krysta: This might be more of a little of a tactic. But as we navigate life, I was reminded this morning of how we need to really make all of those decisions by checking in with our feelings first and how our body feels. How we feel in doing these things. And I, like the flexibility rolls into it. There's some things that you can't change, right? You've got young adults in the home and they are going to bring back their friends .

But then there are other things, like plans, that we might make all the time. And just commitments that get stacked . You have to be there or here. And really checking in with, do we always have to do all the things?

Macarena: We don't. And I love what you said about the checking in. I think the mindset there is take care of the asset. You are the asset. You have to take care of yourself. And that's, I think the mindset.

You advocate for yourself, which is very important. And definitely a tactic, which I love that you brought up is the check in. That is so important. Every morning and moment to moment. How am I feeling about this? And then if you're not feeling good about this, is this the time to have this discussion?

Or do I journal about this? So when we can have a healthy conversation about it, it's productive. All of that. Welcome to being a parent.

Krysta: Truth. Truth.

Macarena: So, setting ourselves up for success. Is there any other mindset idea? We've already discussed believing. Set for success as a mindset that it's possible and believing that success is possible. And I will add to that.

[00:08:23] Permission to Succeed and Overcoming Self-Doubt

Macarena: Giving yourself permission to succeed, some people need to be reminded they're allowed to succeed.

And if you're one of those people that resonates with that, please work with a professional to unpack that. I realized especially with my clients, some people come in and a lot of the issues is they don't believe they're worthy. So because they don't believe they're worthy or they believe they're broken or that something's wrong with them, they don't even have permission to succeed or enjoy life or any of those wonderful things.

There's so many layers to the, evolution process. Everything is evolving constantly. And that's the way it is. And it's okay. What I always remind my kids and people in my family is we are all dealing with our piles of crap. No one is spared the human experience. Those challenges is how we expand.

So, I don't call them crap, but when I feel like that, , yes, that sucks. No one is spared that. However. I believe it's through managing those things that we blossom and we expand and life can be absolutely glorious no matter what is going on.

Which is why we're talking about all these wonderful things like setting yourself up for success and why that mindset alone is super important.

Krysta: I really like this, for me, this little bit of a flip in dialogue. I have recently decided that I'm obligated. Obligated to be as successful as I possibly can. I'm not sure if many have heard this, but when women are successful, we give back to the community.

We bring the community with us. So we're not individualistic here and just saying, Oh, I'm going to pile my money. We're going to do this thing. We literally donate to schools. We find ways to uplift our communities and our people. And therefore we, as women need to have more money and more contributions, essentially to change the society, to help our people, our community rise alongside with us.

And so that obligation, that mindset shift for me took it away from like, Oh I might want this. Cause I want to live a really lovely life, or I want to have this time freedom or X, Y, Z, whatever your reasons might be. But those might feel selfish. And a lot of people work really hard when they know that on the other side of that working, they're helping somebody.

And so I wanted to shift. I wanted to just throw that little mind shift right there, not saying that, men don't do that too, but statistically women do it much more. It's just, let us all rise together.

Macarena: I hear you. I have found that men are excellent at providing for their families. That's been my fortunate experience of most of the men in my life. And I think everybody does what they feel they're called to do. And I think it's probably that motherly instinct that makes it so. and I love that you refer to this wonderful book, We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rogers. I've actually written a blog post about it. I'll put it in the show notes. I absolutely adore this book. I think it's a wonderful mindset book with a lot of actionable steps where she discusses all of this and the research of how she came up with that, of why it is necessary for women to have financial power, that's what we're talking about here. Financial power.

And with that comes success. But as women, I think also we don't see success just as career. As women, we want success everywhere. Success in career, success in family, success in relationships, success in every possible area of our life. Why not? That's what I like to say. What else is possible?

[00:12:08] Strategies for Success

Macarena: In thinking about this, moving on to strategy. ,\ whereas mindset is okay, what am I stepping into the room with, strategy is more of, okay, what's possible here? Which way am I pointing? It's a little more specific.

And then the tactics are the actual ways that you embody the situation. So when it comes to strategy, I think we can have success strategies when it becomes to the different areas of our lives. In my self esteem work, the HOT project. Yes, you're hot. The step by step guide to sizzling self esteem inside and out.

I talk about 10 areas of life. In my confidence building workshop, I call it the self esteem makeover, we talk about increasing your self esteem in 10 areas of your life. And I think this is applicable to set for success. Set for success can be applied to every area in your life. So, as you know, I love talking about lighthearted living and the lighthearted living formula, which is wonder, wellness, and wisdom.

if we break that down, what is the strategy for success in each of those for example. So, wonder is everything. The metaphysical, curiosity, gratitude, love, all that stuff. And, in some other applications, I include home in that. So, wonder when it comes to the home. Relationships, what does success look like in your intimate relationship with your partner? What does it look like as a family unit? Because they are distinct. Trust me, I have kids back from college. I can tell you it's a very different vibe. It's fun. They're both fun. When it's just the two of us, it's a lot of fun.

And when it's all of us it's a lot of fun too. Different types of fun, but it is all fun. Versus the strategy of success when it comes to actually managing your household and housework, for example, how you divide that, who does what. And of course, all this changes when, how people are feeling, et cetera.

My home is a sanctuary. In all of those things, in family, I want everyone to feel it's a sanctuary. In my relationship, I want it to feel like it's a sanctuary. So my home feels like a sanctuary. The strategies I implement when it comes to setting for success has to do with that.

And there is such power in questions. This is a lot of what happens in my private practice. We talk about how we're using language because language are thoughts. To give you an example, "what should I do?" is a terrible question. But if you start the question with, my home is a sanctuary, what else is possible when it comes to arranging the holidays? This idea of sanctuary is how I address the wonder care category when it comes to setting for success. How about you, Krysta?

Krysta: So, I don't have the same model. You're very clearly delineated, but I would have to agree that one of the biggest areas is when I think of wonder, I think of play. I think of children that are learning. And they're learning so fast by just having fun experimenting.

And so, that infuses something really different in how we experience our lives when we do it through a playful lens. And that's where I would emphasize one of your tactics. We so often, get very serious and I will have to remind myself that play is essential in life and play can look very different for everybody.

Like we're not children anymore, but you could still pull out a coloring book and do some coloring or some artwork or get your hands and some clay. It could be dancing or rock climbing or reading. Your play is very different than my play and there's no judgment in the play.

And I think that's another part. It's easy for us to feel unsettled with leaning into these places of wonder that we aren't accustomed to you alongside with what Macarena had said earlier, what we say to ourselves, right? I shouldn't be doing this. I have to do this. I have all of these things. But then it goes back to that refilling ourselves and making sure we're replenished because when we have to, we're constantly giving, we're constantly doing, and we're not taking that time to refill. And refilling can be done in different ways, but play is one.

Macarena: I love it. I think you're right on curiosity and play and fun and joy are such a big part of wonder.

[00:16:41] Wellness Strategies and the Importance of Sleep

Macarena: Let's talk about when it comes to wellness. So, wellness includes of course your physical body, your wellbeing, all of that stuff, but it also includes your expansion, your mental health, your creativity, resources, all kinds of stuff that has to do with maintaining the body, mind, health and wellbeing that everyone deserves and is yearning for.

When I think about the set for success strategies for wellness and taking care of our bodies, we talk about sleep. These are tactics. I would say that the strategy is doing the best you can at the moment that you're in. Because we know this changes. Holidays versus standard times when you can control your food, when you're eating out, all of these things are flexible and fluid.

And I think enjoying what is, is also a really good strategy of wellness. No matter where you are, make the best out of that. that's my strategy when it comes to wellness. Do the best you can, and then we can get into some tactics .

Krysta: I agree with you wholeheartedly as taking care of our well being is a really crucial element in this puzzle of life that we have. I was thinking about the eight hour rule where we need eight hours of sleep. I don't agree with this eight hours of work.

And eight hours of leisure time per day. So, you can even break that down into a little bit more caveats, but the sleep is really super important. Sleep helps in so many different ways.

It reduces inflammation in the body. It just helps you recover. I just highly recommend taking a look at what sleep has to offer and how you can get or figure out where you fall in the sleep category and how you may or may not be able to improve it if you need to.

Because when you get a good night's sleep, let's go by the eight hour rule, that might literally change how you see your day and experience everything.

Macarena: That's so true. Sleep is amazing. So wellness and strategies, taking care of yourself. Prioritizing sleep is a very important strategy.

[00:18:49] Wisdom and Mental Wellbeing

Macarena: And when it comes to wisdom and strategy, I say it's more of the mind. If I had to pick where would I put set for success, I would stick it in the wisdom category.

This includes career, your habits, how you manage your personal life and your business life. So a strategy, when it comes to that, I say is. Take care of the asset. I think this applies here. Another strategy, which is really important is mental wellbeing first.

So we talked about taking care of ourselves first, but prioritizing your mental wellbeing and your mental health is really important. Without you, your world doesn't work, right? When you're not at your best, everyone feels it . So, the strategy of prioritizing mental wellbeing, for me includes not overscheduling myself, a tendency I have to do a lot. So the strategy is, okay, what does my mind need to navigate? Right now, I need to have a lot less things on my to do list. So to prepare for that, I've been using Notion, which I absolutely adore. And I've been using it to set up a new dashboard where I can keep track of everything.

So, it's not just in my head. There's a lot more tactics to talk about how to do this. But what about you, Krysta, when it comes to strategies to set yourself up for success in the wisdom category, what comes to mind?

[00:20:19] Morning Routines and Consistency

Krysta: I think that habits and routines are really important. And so, when we're talking about setting ourself up, wisdom wise for success, one of the biggest things that I've recently been listening to, I've been listening to Jen Sincero's book. I don't remember which one it is, but was recently just talking about consistency.

Successful people are tenacious and consistent. And so, whatever your consistent habits are, you want to incorporate those in. So, I'll give you an example of my mornings and this is good or bad, take it or leave it. But if I wake up between five and six, I can get my morning pages done. Now my morning pages are a nonsensical handwritten dump.

And once I do that, I then get up. I brush my teeth before I do anything. Just cause if you do Ayurvedic stuff that also has mouth health effects. Anyway, side note. And then I'll get up and I'll run because if I don't run or if I don't work out early in the morning, I won't do it.

I'll come back home. I will shower. I will meditate. I'll make sure to write my goals out every morning. And I'm now writing this essentially setting an intention for the day daily. And then I'll start the next thing, the actual work thing. So, I find if that works well for me, that's great.

If I even sleep in an hour and wake up at seven. I'll take double to triple the amount of time to get through my morning pages. And then everything else feels pressurized. I feel like I have to sacrifice things and I won't go into that. But my morning routine, essentially when I do it in alignment with my morning schedule that I just outlined, I feel fabulous.

I feel on par. I feel productive. I feel good in my head and in my body. And so that's a routine that doesn't have anything really to do with work and with career. But it does because without it, at the 7am wake up, when I'm feeling behind already, when it takes me that much longer to do things, when I start to judge myself for being slow, it's like a snowball that just keeps on rolling and building up steam as you go down.

To end my part of this, whatever your routines are, whatever your habits that you're doing consistently that make you feel good. It might not feel good when the alarm goes off at five, but by getting up, the rest of it feels good, like a workout at the end. Then that's what you want to really start honing in on for the consistency, the habits and your consistency, and then your mindset.

Macarena: I love it. I love it. Cause morning routines are so individual. They're really like fingerprints. I'm so happy you have found what works for you. I think that's fascinating.

[00:22:59] Tactics for Success

Macarena: And that leads us into tactics. When we think about set for success tactics. We can start with wonder. I put for example, like journaling and getting things off my mind.

It fits into wisdom, but to me, it's also like more of a meditative, intuitive situation. I love doing a lot of the things you mentioned. The night before going to bed, I set the goal for the next day, I do a brain dump. So, when I do my morning pages, it's not like a diary of what happened the day before.

It's more of a creative experience. So, when it comes to wonder and other tactics of setting yourself up for success, this could be playing with your dog. It could be going for a walk. It could be any of the meditation, yoga. Some people play video games as a source of meditation. There is no judgment.

It's whatever works for you. Whatever ignites that childlike curiosity, that feeling of connection to something greater. It could be religious. It could be spiritual. Whatever it is for you. I think tapping into wonder is a very important thing. I've noticed for me lately, is the Ho'oponopono prayer.

I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I've been using that to clear. Thanks to the book Zero Limits by Joe Vitale. I also have a blog post about that. I love those books. I love these tools. And I love when it's like therapy in a book. I absolutely adore that. So, this whole idea of clearing what is affecting us in our life that we can't necessarily control, but since it's affecting us, it's part of our field, how we clear that and get back to zero point or source energy, however you want to call it, or love, the love vibration.

That's really what it's all about. So, when it comes to wonder, that's been a fantastic tactic for me when I'm in an uncomfortable situation. Another one is I ask what else is possible? When great things are happening, I ask myself, what else is possible when terrible things are happening? What else is possible here?

I'm open to it shifting. And do you have any other tactics when it comes to wonder?

Krysta: I think that moving my body helps me do that.

[00:25:21] The Joy of Movement

Krysta: Dance, not that I dance often. But when I do dance, there's just something. Like my heart gets wide open. So I'm not sure how many of us use our bodies to do things. Some of us don't feel joy the way I might feel joy with moving my body or dancing or summiting a mountain. But for me getting into my body and feeling really connected with my heart and my body and my mind, hanging out with my niece and nephews, it just brings me back down to this child of me. It reminds me of the wonder.

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Macarena: I love that you bring that up because that ties perfectly into wellness. I love it when we do something and it ticks off all the boxes, wonder, wellness, and wisdom. I think those activities are really great, which is why I talk so much about gratitude as because it's really all of those. And I would say yoga is one of those.

[00:26:37] Morning Routines for Wellness

Macarena: What I've been doing with my morning routines is I do some rowing.

That's the exercise I do. And then I do some sun salutations and foam roll my back. And I cannot tell you what a wonderful thing that this has done for me. For a while there, I was shrinking. I was getting shorter, but not anymore since I've incorporated this routine of waking up my body and feeling in my body. It gets me grounded and it prepares me for the day in a wonderful way.

And I figured out how to do it depending on how much time I have. I am much more flexible. For me, I have to prioritize sleep. So, I have to sleep as much as I can. And then depending on what time I have to the next thing I have to decide. Okay, do I get on the rower for 10 minutes or half an hour?

Do I do a yoga practice that's five minutes or 15 minutes? And that's what works for me because I've learned through all those podcasts and all that information on neuroscience, that the length is not necessarily the important part. It's actually just doing it. So I have found that works for wellness and those things spill over to wonder and to wisdom as well.

[00:27:50] Physical Appearance and Self-Expression

Macarena: And I want to talk about when we're thinking of success strategies and it comes to wellness, I want us to talk about the physical body. I know that we've had these conversations. As humans, we want to look our best and feel our best all the time. And sometimes different things happen. We get focused on other things.

I was just reminded the other day, like for women's hair, it could be really easy or it could be complicated. It depends. And we've had these conversations that there's a difference between having a messy hair because that's your brand let's say, cause you're an artist or something, or the difference of that versus looking like ignored, or unkept. It's okay to when it doesn't look like it's done on purpose, that's what we're talking about and it should look deliberate. If that's your look, that's great. And whatever it is, I think we need to be proud and physical appearance is a total genetic thing. Yet there are things we can do depending on how our style and how we like to express ourselves that can give us a lot of leeway and gives us a lot to play with there.

So, when it comes to expressing, we talk about how you do your hair, how you do your makeup, if you do your makeup, how you dress. We can have so much fun playing with color and with texture and with patterns. There's wonderful things about living in South Florida, but it's usually hot here.

So, we can't layer like they can in other places, which is unfortunate but we do the best we can. So, I think I've done lots of edits of my closet through different times, because everything evolves. That's the beauty of life, nothing stays the same. I love doing that. So, it's really easy for me to get dressed.

[00:29:35] Family Fitness and Personal Wellbeing

Macarena: We work out as a family. We go to the gym as a family regardless of my morning routine, which is a great thing. It feels really good. That's a family thing we do together and they're separate. My morning is like my alone time. It's a moving meditation as well, even though I like to meditate in other ways and do breathing and all that good stuff, breath work.

But then the family workout is quite unique. So, I prioritize both of those things because they serve different success models. The family success model really is empowered by us exercising together and going to the gym together. It's a fun habit we've created.

Whereas my personal wellbeing relies on me moving my body. And making sure my spine is flexible and I'm starting the day with the foam rolling. It's prevented me from needing to go to the chiropractor on a weekly basis, which I used to do.

When it comes to wellness, these are some of the tactics that work for me. And you've mentioned dancing. Is there anything else in the wellness category you want to talk about?

[00:30:41] The Importance of Food in Wellness

Krysta: Food. I think that we have a relationship with food and a lot of us have unhealthy relationships with food. And sometimes food is a huge part of our well being. And how studies about gut health affecting our mental health. Essentially, what you put into your body is how you'll feel in your body.

And so if you're putting in things that aren't necessarily clean, like a lot of soda, for example, or if you're smoking cigarettes, or a lot of sugar, then your body is going to be struggling to make you feel the best. It won't be equipped.

So, I think that the way we express ourselves, I think Macarena was having a lot of fun with and is absolutely on target with how we express ourselves physically and how we can do that and incorporate the people that we love into our routines too.

But I also just want to give voice to the people who their self-expression and their body, or even looking in the mirror and seeing themselves as beautiful whatever it might be. Whether they love themselves, it can be a big struggle. Yes, it's important to bring color. Color in your life and your wardrobe brings playfulness.

You can have so much fun with how you express yourself, so you're bringing in the wonder elements too. But I don't want us also to get caught up in that. We have to look a certain way to be a certain thing. Because the reality is, and this is my thing, everybody is marvelous just the way they are, exactly in this moment of where you are, it doesn't matter your background.

If we're struggling with those issues already, I would echo what Macarena already said. Then it just gives you more things to unravel with a professional. And I highly recommend it because it is worth unpacking every single layer that you have to get to the core of your marvelousness.

And our physical well beings can encompass so many things. We don't have the hours I'm sure it would take us to go into each of them.

Macarena: I love that you brought up food because of course food is such a big important of wellness. And for a lot of people, by making food is how they express their love to others. So, especially right now in this time, it's very interesting. Right now, I'm not putting any restrictions on my eating. But I love fasting. I'm just finished and I'm going to do a blog post on this too,

Fast Like a Girl by Dr Mindy Peltz. Amazing. Because there's a big difference between the hormones in women and men. That's really important.

I love fasting. I think it's wonderful. But I'm not doing that during holidays. I figured out recently a wonderful thing called the metabolic reset. I do also have a blog post on that where I was able to follow a routine and a detox and lose the COVID 19 pounds I had gained and got control of my body again, which was a wonderful experience. So, I highly recommend that to people.

The tactics when it comes to wellness, of course, include eating. When you're eating, how you're eating your food choices. And like you said, all of this should be taken with some ease. I think none of these things should be stressful because life is about living and we correct and continue as we learn without any judgment, especially from us to anybody out there.

And you mentioned the people who don't feel good about themselves. And I think we've all done this where you can do mirror work where you just look into your eyes and you repeat, I love you. That is such an important process of healing that I think takes care of a lot of things. So, when it comes to wellness, expressing love for yourself in the form of how you take care of yourself, how you brush your teeth, your morning routines, your evening routines, how you eat, all of that is a really great opportunity to express your love for yourself and set yourself up for success. When talking about tactics for wisdom, you had mentioned something very cool.

[00:34:41] Choosing Your Circle Wisely

Macarena: You talked about the choice of who you surround yourself with. I know sometimes we, at work, let's say, we may not have as much control of that. But in a lot of situations, we do.

So, tell me more about that idea of choosing who is in our space

Krysta: It's really complicated actually. Because there are a lot of us that have family and friends that are very dear to our hearts, yet they don't carry the same dreams and goals or want us necessarily to succeed because then they might see themselves as not succeeding or not trying.

So, who we surround ourselves with is essential for us moving forward in succeeding. It's about taking inventory. It came from We Should All Be Billionaires where she takes an inventory of her friends every year and kind of just, how is this person energetically feeling?

How are these relationships feeling for me? Am I progressing with them equally or are they holding me back or is there drama or toxicity? What is happening here? And so the evaluation, just like a job, just like your finances, you need to choose who and what you surround yourself with because it's those echoes, those people like, Hey, you don't have to write today.

You can come hang out with me and watch TV, are not helping you move forward in your dreams. In fact, they're slightly sabotaging you.

Macarena: I love that you're talking about this idea of inventory especially at the end of the year. December has been a lot about that for me, especially when it comes to my business. And I have a wonderful resource that I'm giving to my weekly whims newsletter subscribers about how to inventory their lives.

And it'd be interesting to maybe add to that like grading your friends? I think that's what she does. She gives them a grade to see where they're at, because there is the idea of who you allow in your space. And sometimes people have to be there for whatever reason. But let's say they're very challenging and not supportive, then you have the right to limit your interaction and how much energy you give these people. I think everybody's doing the best they can with what they got. And most of the time it has nothing to do with us, but we all know those complicated people that are not there in a supportive way. Sadly, we've all met them and we probably know them quite intimately.

There's people like that in my life, and I have learned how to manage that, where I can enjoy them at face value, but that is it. In fact, I had a friend of mine who had a dream. She's Oh, I had a dream that you were sitting in a cafe with so and so. And you were really chummy, and I was really afraid for you.

I was like, Whoa, that's the reputation this person has. Whoa. And I laughed and I said no, things are pleasant, but it's very clear. You need to know who's your friend and who is not. And we've had to learn that. We've had this conversations. And I think a very important tactic when it comes to wisdom is, and I'm speaking about Krysta and myself specifically here, we tend to see the best in everyone. I have learned this year that is not useful and it's not honest. It's okay for me to be honest about how someone is showing up in my life and decide what role they get to play or not at all.

And I talk about this in my courses when I talk about looking at your life through the lens of filmmaking. You have to be the protagonist. You have to be the leading lady in your life and your story. And you need to be able to identify who's showing up as a villain or who's showing up as a supporting cast, et cetera. All of that, that's a wisdom strategy to a playful way to see the situation in your life. And I like that tactic of interviewing and reviewing and taking inventory of what is going on interpersonally when it comes to business, et cetera.

[00:38:45] Tools and Strategies for Success

Macarena: We talked about some tactics of using notion to organize yourself, there's different tools. So, I would say this, the tactic is seeking the tools that are going to make your life easier. I just had this with my computers. I had these beautiful but very ancient machines.

So everybody came into my office. They're like, this looks like a Mac store. And I'm like, yeah, except they don't work. So it finally hit me. I don't need all these desktops. I just need a screen, a monitor. And oh my God, it simplified my life. So taking an inventory of the tools for your work life balance, for your business, for all those things fit into the wisdom category.

Is there something that's going to make things easier in your household? For example, we have a gizmo, I will call it. I love that word. A gizmo that refills air tires. The air in your tire. Amazing. And because of the weather changes, et cetera, this is like a constant issue in my life. And because I drive a Tesla, I am not going to go to a gas station.

And my husband, one day, appeared with this amazing, tiny gizmo that fills the cars' TIRES with air. I don't even understand how that works, but it works. So, sometimes there's a tool that's going to make your life much easier. So, set for success, wisdom strategies include seeking out the right tool and implementing it, if it's going to make your life easier.

Wow, I feel like we've covered a lot. We've talked about mindset, strategy, tactics. And within tactics, I think we discussed a lot of implementation.

Krysta: I just wanted to also add that not only do I suggest looking at the tools, but looking at ways to get more quality of life time. So, it goes along with tools, but it's not because this is where you might be able to hire somebody to help you. This is where it might cost you a little bit more money, but you actually get more time back.

And what time is life, guys, right? You get to spend time with your family. You get to spend time refilling your cup. You get to get time to play whatever, but time is precious. And so it goes along with tools. Make your life as easy as possible with the tools and support that you can.

Macarena: I love what you're saying. And of course you were speaking about delegation. And before we were talking about boundaries. Talk about those as strategies, tactics, and things to implement on a consistent basis. Absolutely.

[00:41:17] The Power of Boundaries and Delegation

Krysta: Actually, it's perfect segue. To go back into the boundaries, I think it's very easy for us to give people power over us. And there've been studies out there done around hearing 10 people will say things to us. Nine of which will be compliments, one of which will be a negative.

What will we get stuck on? The negative. But the reality is we're giving people power and a space in our head when we allow them to influence us and to have more power over us essentially by granting their voice or their opinion or their thoughts by giving space to their thoughts or whatever it might be.

I just wanted to add that just to be very careful. Yes, boundaries are important, but it's so easy to still be influenced by family members, making a slight comment about something that you're working on or not commenting and giving you the silent treatment. And you know what that means, the subtlety of it.

But the reality is you're giving them power in doing that. And do you want to give somebody like that power, or do you want to give somebody like Macarena here, who is like full of positivity all the time. And like the energy she'd give you is an uplift versus the drain that negative person in your life is.

And so just remember where the power comes from and who you're giving it. And ultimately you have the power to choose if you're going to accept or not. Like people don't have to like you. But you have to like you. You have to like you and that means your power has to stay seated in you. And so just be careful as you surround yourself with people and absorb the echoes or the straight up statements of what they say whether you want to actually grant them authority over your life and your feelings. And that goes along with boundaries.

Macarena: You cracked me up. The reasons I'm so positive is one, the alternative is a downer and I tend to process a lot of that stuff. I have a big support system with coaches I work with. Because as a coach, we also need help. I've got systems in place where I process a lot of the negativity.

And it just so happens that I'm a seven in the Enneagram, and that means I'm an enthusiast. So what does it mean? I find the bright side of everything and I find everything interesting. Not everybody is wired like that and that's okay. We have to work with what we've got. And I think delegation is really important and the boundaries.

Oh, you were talking about giving our power away. It was Carolyn Myss who would say unplug. If you catch yourself in that situation, really think about taking a plug and unplugging the wire from that energy source. No, enough. I think that's really important when we catch ourselves giving our power away.

I remember when I was younger, I've done a lot of work with self esteem, like most people. And I remember wanting that kind of validation in others, yet not really believing them when I got it anyway. A lot of that stuff is an inside job and we're going to hear negative things. We're going to hear positive things.

And if we can use them in a constructive way, that's great. But it almost doesn't even matter because it really needs to resonate, like you were saying, from within.

Actually the other day, something very funny happened.

Somebody was projecting on me and they said that because I'm so insecure, X, Y, and Z was happening to them. It was really interesting. So, I was like, Oh, I don't feel insecure, but of course I've been insecure. And other times in my life about other things in my life. But I really checked in. I'm like.

Is any of that accurate? Because let's say that person was correct. 1 percent out of a hundred, it's going to sting in me. If I subconsciously am ignoring that for whatever reason, but because it came up, it allowed me to explore and be like, where am I with this? And then everybody was like, Oh, that's ludicrous.

Everybody heard about it or who was there said, Oh, that's crazy. But I was like, regardless. We need to unpack that to see where that's at. But had I reacted in a wounded way, I would not have been able to help get to the root of the problem and help the situation. Had I taken that personally or in any other way. Oh my God, that would have been terrible.

So, I appreciate that it came up because even though it was quite unpleasant and shocking and all of that, it really moved things around and allowed for the progress to be made after all.

[00:45:47] Navigating Family Dynamics

Macarena: Everybody's doing the best they can. Sometimes we will mirror things in each other. Other times we will deflect, right? We will blame what we're doing on to someone else, which I think is really important. One of the things of Set for Success when it comes to relationships is something a lot of people learn if they've been married more than once, which is do not dump your crap onto other people.

Keep the relationships pristine. Keep the relationships precious. And where it's a bit of I think an exception is sometimes in sibling relationships. I just did the poems for the siblings for sisters and brothers. So I was thinking a lot about that. There's something magical about the sibling relationship where if the people are healthy enough to be doing their work every now and then you will lose it on each other and it's going to be unpleasant.

But if everybody is mature enough, what's on the other side of that is usually pretty beautiful and pretty glorious. I'm speaking from experience.

Krysta: I can concur

Macarena: Some of us are lucky to have siblings in our life. Not everybody is. And sometimes it could be very challenging. I know a lot of examples close to home where the siblings do not talk to each other and it's really sad. Because one of the gifts of the sibling relationships is you can really be honest with each other and know you can repair it.

So, it's extra sad when the repairment hasn't happened yet. But, what else is possible, right? Healing and expansion, I think are always possible.

Krysta: I was just going to throw in about found families. So, some of us don't have families and don't have siblings, but we have found families. And I just want to give a voice here that your found sibling or parent or whomever that they're just as important as if it was a biological one that you're no longer talking to or that you just don't have.

I just wanted to give voice to our found families because they're out there.

Macarena: Amen. It took me a while to come back around to my family. When I was young, like a teenager, it was all about found family. I was like such the ugly duckling that did not fit in at all with my family. And it took me a lot of work to be able to work through it and navigate it.

Because even though they might not be interested, have the skills or the desire to love me unconditionally, I chose to love them unconditionally. So, there was a lot of work around that acceptance and what you were saying before, not giving them power. We're both authors and some people in our family are not our target, yet we want to include them in it. So, we have to understand they're not the audience. So, whether they like it or not, it really doesn't matter. And once I started doing that, saying, Hey, you're not my target market, but I'd like to include you in my life. This is what I'm doing.

And once I got them off the hook, it was beautiful. It was really beautiful. Sometimes it took years to be like, Oh, this poem you wrote was very nice. And what a great thing for people. I'm like, okay, five years later, but thank you. I appreciate it. So, I think to wrap this set for success, I would like to say, when you're talking about found family, how you express and who you share with, it's really important.

You need to understand who's really on your side and who doesn't want to see you succeed. You touched on that. That's really important.

Krysta: And I think that when we're secure in ourselves and we don't give people power, which means when we get one star reviews or when we get negative experiences, it's a little bump in our little road or maybe a little bump on our path at the end of the day, hopefully.

But it's about us just having a good connectivity, I think, with the three senses of wonder, wellness, and wisdom and implementing a life that we can really thrive on.

Macarena: I love that. Thank you. I like what you said. One of the things when it comes to Set for Success that I think is really important is remembering that your individuality is what makes you special. And this idea of negative and positive feedback, if you haven't had any negative feedback or enough negative feedback, that just means that not enough people have been exposed to you. Because in marketing, we had a saying out of 100%, 10 percent are going to love you, 10 percent are going to hate you no matter what. So, it's almost like, they're not really the people we're speaking to. We're speaking to everybody else, like where they are in their journey. So, that strategy and tactic has been really helpful for me to take things with a grain of salt. I know I'm not for everybody. And actually you can't be, and you don't want to be.

We want to find our people that we resonate with, that want to hear what we have to say, and not everybody else is going to, and that is okay.

[00:50:44] Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Macarena: All right, so, we've been talking about set yourself up for success. We talked about mindset, strategy, tactics, and implementation. We combine those together.

And when it comes to expression and sharing, we talked about found family, who our true friends are, the people that are in our corner and who want to see us succeed. That's really important, how we express ourselves and how we share our success. And I think part of that is being open to everyone succeeding, however that shows up for them.

So, thanks for listening.

Sponsor: This podcast is brought to you by Krysta Maravilla, the author, wanderer, mindset mentor, and writing coach. Krysta Maravilla's mission is to help you embrace the marvel of who you are through her one on one mindset mentoring or writing coaching.

Because when your mindset is in alignment, the doors to greater opportunity and financial rewards swing wide open. Visit Kristamaravilla.com today.

I want to thank our sponsors, Spark Social Press, my publisher, for supporting our show and their commitment to spreading joy and empowerment through their magical books. Spark Social Press believes in the power of mindset and the magic of self expression. Our enchanting children's book series, The Grateful Giraffes, teaches little ones the importance of gratitude and positive thinking by expressing themselves thoughtfully and tenderly, and with illustrations of their delightful adventures and heartwarming lessons.

Spark Social Press offers gift books for grown ups for every occasion, helping you express the perfect words to make your loved ones and colleagues feel seen and treasured. With these lighthearted poetry picture books. At Spark Social Press, we believe everyone is glorious and deserves to be fulfilled with more wonder, wellness, and wisdom.

That's why our books are designed to spark creativity, uplift spirits, and empower readers of all ages. To discover the joy of self expression and spread more wonder in your life, visit sparksocialpress.com. Today, together with spark social press, let's embrace the magic of mindset one book at a time.

Once again, a big thank you to spark social press for sponsoring the show and for bringing more wonder, wellness, and wisdom into the world through our thoughtful and inspiring books.

Outro: Wow. What a journey we've been on together. I hope this episode has left you feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to embrace the magic in your life. I'd love to hear about your experiences and insights. Please tag me on social media using the hashtag magical mindset podcast, or leave me a DM to share your wins, challenges, and aha moments.

Let's keep the conversation and the magic flowing beyond this episode. Thank you so much for tuning in and for being a. Until next time, keep shining your light and embracing the wonder of each day. You've got this!